Sienna and Jude Break Up...Take Two
When on-again-off-again becomes done-and-done

by Kimberly Dawn Neumann
read article online
Poor Sienna. Breakups suck just as much the second time around. And here she is going through a breakup with Jude Law...again! Yes, breakups hurt for the ordinary mortal, but she’s trying to recover from one with a bonafide “Sexiest Man Alive.” She can’t even try to console herself by saying “Well, he wasn’t that cute.” Ouch!

So, how did Sienna end up in this predicament to begin with? Signing up for what has seemingly turned out to be yet another episode of heartbreak by hottie? I mean, she was once engaged to Jude -- and she has publicly said that strangers tried to console her after it ended the first time. Will they be as warm this go round or will they admonish, “She should have known better”?

To get a better handle on the nuts and bolts of the situation, I picked the brain of Dr. Karin Anderson, PhD, relationship expert and author of the recent book, It Just Hasn't Happened Yet. "If the attraction that initially motivated a pair to connect remains, there’s always a chance of reunification," she says. "And, often the passage of time diminishes memories of frustrations leaving the couple vulnerable to giving it “one more try.” Sometimes post-breakup processing sheds light on what we “could have done” or “should have done” and couples take another crack at it in order to repair prior damage and “make it work” this time. But, ultimately, unless one partner or the other has dramatically altered his or her character, it’s unlikely the next round will fare better than the first."

I can’t blame Sienna for wanting to try again – and not just because Jude is delicious. No, it has more to do with the fact that there is something comforting and wonderful about rekindling a flame with someone who once had your heart, body and soul. It’s easy. It feels familiar. It’s like curling up in a snuggie. You know you shouldn’t because it is so last season, but it’s just so darn comfy.

Still, like Dr. Anderson says, there's often a big reason why it didn’t work in the first place. And it’s possible Sienna may have forgotten to look at that before entering the “I’m with my ex” fray. In the case of trying again with an ex, you really need to look at why that person was your past and not your present. Then you need to decide if those issues have been properly addressed so that you might have a real shot if you both agree to give it a second chance.

Some relationship challenges may be surmountable, some may not. If cheating was initially in the mix, there will be trust issues that might not be reparable. But if your first breakup was about the fact that one of you was not ready to commit and the other was and that status has now changed, then the relationship might be worth another look.

I’ll admit it; I’ve been there. I once had a drink with an ex who was suddenly single again. Every ounce of my being still felt love for this man. I wanted to run straight into his arms and stay there. But, when I was honest with myself, I knew the issues that broke us up in the first place had not been addressed. So, after the drink, I bid him adieu and went home and cried for three hours. Love doesn’t die, but sometimes relationships do.

Fortunately, in this case, Sienna and Jude seem to have come to the same conclusion. Their reps say their relationship had “run its course.” One has to commend them for realizing that fact before they got in even deeper. Still, chances are Sienna has been shedding some tears, and one can’t help but feel a twinge of female compassion.

There is no reward without risk…but sometimes love really, really hurts. Sending you a hug, Sienna.
Website Design by Mark Ledbetter Designs © 2006